Parent Exposes Their Ex To His Mother About Their Kids
From Redditor u/Winter_Apple_6053:
I (45f) am currently divorced from my ex Thomas (47m) of 30years. We ended up seeing a lawyer to help with dividing stuff. Everything was pretty much wrapped up till he said he no longer wanted any part of our kids’ lives (5m) and (12f). I didn’t argue with him about it since I already know what it’s like having a parent who doesn’t want you around or wants to be in your life. I asked what he wanted me to tell the kids and he just said “whatever you think is best I don’t care. I don’t want to parent anymore.” Everything was in agreement and signed with no fuss.
A few weeks later I get a call from my ex Mil asking if we could meet each other. When I came over she broke down crying and begging to let my ex see his kids again. I was confused about what she meant because not once did he contact me after meeting the lawyer. She went on about how my ex said “he really missed them and that I was just a petty b*tch for taking full custody.” Also that he was crying for days about it. I told her my version of events and she called it bs saying her son wouldn’t lie like that especially not about his kids. Then I decided to call him in front of her. He didn’t know she and I were meeting that day.
I said “hey (5m) has a soccer game in a few days (which he did) and I was wondering if you wanted to go? I know he’d really love it and be happy to see you.” He instantly said “No. I already said I’m not doing this anymore.” I raised my voice a bit saying “well what about holidays and birthdays because we never discussed any of it and your family might want to see them.” He just said ” my family already thinks the kids aren’t mine anyways so it doesn’t matter.” I asked”well how do you think this is going to effect Denise (his mom)? She is over the moon about them.” He just said ” She loves me more than the kids so I doubt this will be an issue for her.” After a bit more talking we finally hung up. Ex Mil was straight faced and nodded at everything that just happened saying “mmm okay.” She asked me to leave and said we would be in touch.
Later that day I got a call from my ex saying how it’s my fault he was kicked out of his mom’s house and possibly will be taken off her will. Also that none of his family members will talk to him because of what ex Mil heard. He threw a lot of insults at me before I hung up and now him and his mates keep calling and texting me. My friend is saying I shouldn’t have said anything in the first place and I ruined his life.
Edition: hello thank you for your support and the gold reward. Yes, I plan to let Denise see the kids because I know she just wants to give them the world along with the rest of his family. (I was honestly confused with what op meant at first and my daughter told me overpowered like in anime but my sister clarified.)
2nd edition: hello again, I want to address something because this keeps coming up and I can’t keep up with everyone. Due to actions he and I took when we were younger my Christian parents thought it would be best he and I be married at the time.
Spouse Tells Off Mother For Insulting Their Wife On Mother’s Day
From Redditor u/throwarrray67560:
About 3 years ago, my wife and I adopted a newborn baby girl after finding out we were unable to have kids. My wife and I absolutely adore our daughter and we’re so happy to finally be parents. We recently moved back to the same state my parents live it so for the first time last year, we were able to attend a little gathering in my parents backyard for mothers day. It was my wife and I, my daughter, her two older cousins, my two sisters and their spouses. My mother is very big into mothers day and got each of my sisters a plant, some chocolates and a nice mother’s day card, but told my wife she wasn’t aware we were coming so she had nothing to give her. We were on the fence about going and didn’t decide until that morning to go so my wife and I didn’t think anything of it, we didn’t go to get a gift, we went to see my family- until she followed up with “Besides, it’s not like you’re a REAL mother anyway”. My wife froze and I asked my mother what she meant by that statement, and she said “well, you didn’t carry (daughter) for nine months or give birth to her. You didn’t go through labor. You’re a “mother” but she isn’t YOURS.” My sisters, who have obviously each given birth both looked extremely uncomfortable, but both ultimately sided with my mother. I told my mother “real” mothers don’t make those kind of comments, and until she realized how incredibly screwed up her statement and her way of thinking was i wanted nothing to do with her and she could quite frankly kiss my ss. My wife and I left shortly after with our daughter, and we haven’t talked to any of them since then. A week ago my sister contacted me and went off about how upset everyone was that we “still haven’t gotten over it” and how we were *ssholes for ignoring the family during the holidays. AITA for telling my mother off and is it my fault their holiday was ruined?
Husband Tells His Mother-In-Law That He Is Not Married To Her
From Redditor u/ThrowawayKev135:
My mother in law is a kind and funny woman though She does have few problems with boundaries and is a little too involved in my marriage especially now that my wife’s pregnant. My wife’s family aren’t well off financially and it’s the opposite with my family, My family own a factory, I’m an engineer My wife has a job that doesn’t pay well but she’s happy with it.
Every time I get my wife something nice especially jewelry I’d get a call from my mil complaining that she got nothing once she finds out even if it was my wife’s birthday or our wedding anniversary. Holidays and other occasions aside, She’d throw a fit about how I was treating her as less than. She always comes over and when she notices a new piece of furniture or any new items she’d complain I didn’t get her similar stuff.
She sent a picture of a very expensive necklace that she wanted me to get for mother’s day. I called her to ask about it and she said that she’s been wanting it for a while, and only I could afford it. When I told her I may not be able to get it she replied that I already got my wife an expensive necklace on sunday and I can afford this one. I didn’t get her necklace and instead I decided to get her some fresh flowers that I picked from my late mother’s garden that I trimmed/organized myself then put them in a nice vase. We visited sunday evening and my mil kept smilling til it was time for gift opening. I handed her the flowers and talked about how much time and effort I made to put everything together. She was shocked and said she thought I loved and cared enough to get her something nice, just like my wife who technically isn’t even a mother yet and she’s been a mother for 32 years. I got annoyed and said that I did not appreciate her harsh response to my gift but she argued with me and kept talking about how much she wanted the necklace and that I could afford it just like I was able to afford the one I got for my wife but instead chose a thoughtless crappy gift to give her. That p*ssed me off.
I said that I married her daughter and not her. Of course I was putting my wife first and It’s crazy she thinks I’m obligated to treat her and my wife the same. My wife looked at me and was astonished. Mil replied that I was being mean and nasty to her on purpose and rubbing my financial stability in her face treating her as if she was greedy instead of showing her appreciation.
She went inside looking so upset she was almost crying then my wife followed her. Suddenly, Everyone was staring at me, it was awkward as hell. My wife snapped in the car telling me I was way out of line for making her mom cry on mother’s day and said that she will not let my attitude cause a rift between her and her mom. I asked if she agreed with her mom’s demands and she said no, But I went over the top and shouldn’t have spoken to her that way. She said I deeply hurt her mom’s feelings and should apologize
Spouse Tells Their Wife That It’s Her Fault Their Kids Don’t Want To Give Her Gifts
From Redditor u/Silas_Of_The_Lambs:
So look, my wife is a great mother in many ways and I love her dearly, but she is terrible at getting gifts. Back when we were dating, when I rang her doorbell with a dozen roses, she opened the door and immediately said “you can’t afford that!” This, I’m afraid, is fairly typical of her response when given anything. Not even strained politeness but usually a directly negative response. It’s hard for me – my family are big gift-givers- but I’m an adult and Iove her enough to find other ways to show it. So on birthdays I buy her the exact thing she requests and other times I just restrain myself entirely.
Our kids (5m,2f), though, lack this perspective. They do what kids do (“look mommy I found this stick in the yard for you!). They find her response to this as demoralizing as I do.
I work nights and sleep in late. I woke up this morning to a text to the effect that she had asked the kids to make her a card for Mother’s Day and they responded with great enthusiasm that they wanted to make them… for MY mother.
The longstanding tension between wife and mother is largely outside the scope of this post, but it is sadly quite severe, which partly explains why this bothered her as much as it clearly did. She thinks the fact that the kids “prefer” their grandma is my fault. I didn’t point it out in the moment for obvious reasons, and I ultimately pestered the kids into making her “cards” (kid scribbles that I helped them sign their names to), but WIBTA if I found a good moment to remonstrate with her? To explain that the reason nobody wants to give her nice things is because she habitually criticizes any gift she gets that she didn’t pick out herself in advance? And that my mom always shows enthusiasm and delight in every bunch of dandelions or lump of dirt she gets, so the kids naturally think of her when they think of giving nice things to people?
Edit: I’m getting predictably dragged for my handling of Mother’s Day. I will provide some background.
For years we have had a pattern. After numerous abortive attempts to surprise her (with gifts, with dates or outings, with meals I made, and so on), I have largely given up on creativity. So, for birthdays, for Christmas, for Mother’s Day, and so on, what I do is, I ask her what she wants and then I do that.
So earlier this week, I asked her what she’d like to do for Mother’s Day. She sort of snorted and said “nothing.” Then a couple of days later, she said that what she wanted for Mother’s Day was to get her and the kids dressed up nice and have me take a picture (as opposed to having anybody else come by to take it… she’s on the extra-cautious end of pandemic preparedness). I said I’d help with that, but asked her to remember that I was working overnight and would be asleep for much of the morning.
She has a favorite candy bar that she always places on the grocery list whenever I go (I do most of our shopping). I bought her a bunch of them on the last trip, but held one out to save for Mother’s Day. Last night (since I wouldn’t be up) I gave it to the kids to give to her. All very secretive and hush-hush. They enjoyed the conspiracy and ran into the room with big smiles on their faces to give it to her. She, however, was disposed to inform them that she had already had one that day. She put it casually to the side. She wasn’t mean, just… disinterested and tactless. I guess the kids pretty much shrugged it off.
I work all night, I go to sleep at 9 AM, I wake up at 2 PM, I read this text described above, I get up and go downstairs and convince the kids to draw cards on some paper. I raise the family photo she asked about. She doesn’t want to.
Maybe I’m clumsy. Maybe I’m doing a bad job adjusting to her love language. Certainly I’m not the kind of mind reader it would take to know I was supposed to ignore her stated preference about how to mark the day. But kindly do not accuse me of not trying.
Mother Gives Her Ex’s Girlfriend A Mother’s Day Gift
From Redditor u/amianahole5380:
My ex and I have a 6 year old together and we split custody 50/50. He’s been dating his girlfriend for 3 years and they now live together. For the last 2 Mother’s Days, his girlfriend has gotten me a gift and a card on my ex’s behalf, but signed from both of them. I know they’re from her because they’re things my ex would never pick out and her handwriting is on the card.
They’ve lived together for the last year and therefore she lives with my son half the time. My ex works very long hours and it’s clear from what my son tells me that my ex’s girlfriend takes care of him almost exclusively during the week because my ex is working.
I thought it would be nice to get my ex’s girlfriend something nice for Mother’s Day this year. I didn’t go over the top, I just made her a little basket with body lotion, a face mask, and some earrings. We always do Mother’s Day together for my son and I pulled her aside and gave it to her there to thank her for helping raise my son and being so good to him.
My ex later pulled me aside and told me that giving her the gift was inappropriate because I was going to give her the wrong idea about their relationship. I told him his relationship issues were theirs to deal with but I was just trying to show my gratitude for the work she puts in for our son. AITA for giving her the gift without asking him if it was alright first?
Husband’s Mother Announces Her Son’s Pregnancy Using His Facebook Account
From Redditor u/Fallen-Grace5656:
I f23 found out that I was pregnant very recently, It was not planned and my husband and I are trying to make a decision regarding going through with the pregnancy.
Here’s the thing, I told him to not tell anyone but he ended up telling his mom but made her swear that she won’t tell. he didn’t tell her we aren’t sure about it but just to stay quiet. Well, She begged and begged that she announce it on her facebook under the guise of using our permission but I said absolutely not and lied and said my husband and I wanted to announce it ourselves later if we decide to go through with it.
just a day ago I found out she logged into my husband’s facebook account and dropped the bomb (made the announcement and yes she pretended to be my husband!) behind our back. I was floored I called her and she said she figured if she made the announcement using one of our social media accounts then we won’t mind and it’d still look like we made the announcement. But like I stated earlier, we’re still trying to make a decision. I lost my temper and yelled at her which made her cry. I said she overstepped and messed up completely then hung up.
My husband came into the room yelling about my poor treatment and abuse towards his mom. I told him his mom violated our privacy and put us in more pressure to finally make a decision for the baby since the family are now calling to say “congratulations”, He said that it was his fb so none of my privacy was “violated”and that I shouldn’t have yelled and hurt her feelings and made her cry no matter what, period. he demanded I apologize and we’ll talk about the pregnancy later but I didn’t give an answer and refused when he tried to force me to go to her house and “grovel” with apologies.
Wife Tells Her Mother-In-Law That She Doesn’t Care What She Thinks About Her
From Redditor u/LogicalRove:
My relationship with my MIL has been complicated to say the least. I’m my husbands second wife. I married him when his kids were 7 and 5. His first wife died when they were 1 and 3 and her death was very hard on my husband and his oldest. I actually met him while he was still in grief counseling and so were the kids. We built up a friendship and later after he had dated a bit casually, we realized we had feelings for each other. It was a very rough transition. Not going to lie. The kids maternal side were not pleased that he had found someone while the kids were young and I do believe they eventually influenced the relationship I now have with my stepchildren who are 19 and 21 respectively. To them I am their dad’s wife. This is how they introduce me. This is how they have introduced me the whole way along, although they didn’t really introduce me at all as younger kids, it was more as they got older. There has always been a strain there. It’s tough. It has made my relationship with my ILs (my husbands parents and siblings) at times uncomfortable. They see it as I have been around since before they can remember and with them not remembering mom, I’m mom or at least a mom type. The kids, despise my best efforts. have never embraced or truly accepted me into their lives. I think over the years they have accepted me into their dad’s. But it has spilled into how they see the children my husband and I have together.
About three years ago my stepchildren dug in their heels and refused to celebrate Mother’s Day in any way with us. They always saw their maternal family, were always taken to their mom’s grave but even a dinner with me and the family was a very firm no and after each one moved out they just stopped talking on Mother’s Day with us.
This year I took my kids to the beach for the day and had some good food and relaxed. My MIL told me it was wrong to not even give my stepkids a chance to show up or call, that it looked bad, she thought I loved them and all this other nonsense. She told me to think about how it must look to everybody else that I’m going off with just my bio kids and celebrating with them on Mother’s Day. I told her it was my choice and I moved on, then she brought it up again, same response, the third time she brought it up, after my husband had even told her to leave it alone, I told her I did not give a flying f*ck what she or anybody else thought and I am not going to be a glutton for punishment the rest of my life.
She and the rest of my husbands family are outraged I said that to her and told me it was uncalled for. My husband told them I could have said much worse.
AITA?
Husband Cancels Mother’s Day Because His Wife Cancelled Father’s Day
From Redditor u/Excellent_Top:
So, this is a little strange of a situation but hear me out.
I’ve been married to my wife for almost 7 years now and we have 2 children, one 6 and the other 4. I love her but she is a bit strange sometimes. She is very heavy anti-corporation/government (you know the type. I will give her credit and say she’s very moderate with these views though and not crazy). One of her big beliefs though is with holidays. She still celebrates holidays with the family (Christmas, Easter, etc) but likes to keep them minimalist and not embrace the “Money” side of things. We’re not monsters though, we still buy our kids stuff for Christmas and for their birthdays but we’ve tried to make them know this is now what these days should be about and that generosity, not materials, should be what we thing about.
Last year in June my wife told me she doesn’t want to celebrate fathers day. Her reasoning was simple, she wanted our children to respect us everyday and not make one day a special occasion for celebrating fathers or mothers. I was a little hesitant but I agreed and we took the day to try to teach them that.
Well, now that mothers day is coming around she’s changing her tune. All of the sudden she wants me and the kids to take her out for breakfast, buy her gifts, and do other things for her. I obviously told her no, that we didn’t celebrate fathers day and this was her idea to begin with. All of the sudden she got super upset and is claiming i’m the *sshole here. She’s now saying we should celebrate both days and that it’s unfair to her that we aren’t celebrating mothers day. We fought about this last night and she’s still mad about it.
Sister-in-Law Wants To Be Celebrated For Mother’s Day Even Though She Doesn’t Have Children
From Redditor u/reneehoney987:
I (F27) have a brother (M26) and two sisters (F30) (F32). My brother got married a year ago to my SIL (F24). Before they got married they only knew each other for a few months, and SIL has yet to acclimate to our family since.
My sisters and I are very close because we all have children and we’re close in age. I was looking forward to celebrating Mother’s Day with them as we do every year. We usually have a big brunch in our family home and spend the day with all of our children. This will be SIL’s first Mother’s Day with us.
Today, my brother sent a message in the family group chat expressing that he would like us to equally celebrate his wife on Mother’s Day because they have been trying to conceive for the last year. I have sympathy for the difficulties of conceiving and thought I would just get her a card, even though I intend on getting my sisters and my mom gifts. I have also had drawn-out periods of trying to conceive and though I would never put my grief onto other people and expect them to act accordingly, I do understand.
However, SIL really hit a chord for me when she responded in the group chat. She said word for word, “please comply with our wishes as I am just as much of a mother as you girls are.” I am a mother of three, two of which I homeschool while working from home with a newborn. Both of my sisters have four kids. This kind of rhetoric is really disturbing, offensive, and disrespectful.
WIBTA if I completely ignore this request and celebrate my sisters and mother like I initially planned? My sisters want to do the same and are also deeply offended by her clueless comment.
Sibling Requests That Their Sibling’s Partners Pay Their Share On Mother’s Day
From Redditor u/NyxVivendi:
For Mother’s Day, I wanted to do a little something for my Mom : nothing too expensive, just a nice moment with a meal she loves, some flowers and her three children and husband.
I was chatting with my siblings about this. It somehow morphed into something much bigger. Their partners will be there too (at first I didn’t picture it like that, don’t they have their own moms to celebrate?) and then I was already seen like an *sshole by my sister for even suggesting they might not tag along. Geez guys, this is Mother Day’s, not Christmas. The restaurant choice has changed for something nearly twice as expensive and other little things were added.
The plan was to split the whole cost in three and that included the food for all five of us (my mom, her husband and us three). Now we’re seven instead at a much more expensive place and the “split in three” arrangement somehow still holds. I’m single and I’m p*ssed that I will have to pay the same amount as the others – I think my bro and sis should pay for their SO, or their SO should pay for their own meal. I hate how it’s taken for granted that I will pay for their share (even though I barely get along with them in the first place).
The final cost is more than three times what I was prepared to pay for the little event I initiated in the first place. I’m shutting up right now as to not rain the parade but this kind of thing happens all the time when you’re single going out with couples, and I might consider calling them out on this next time because it’s getting real annoying. I’d be less p*ssed it they would at least acknowledge the problem but afaik, they most certainly didn’t think about this at all. I think they would be surprised, uneasy and bothered if I were to point it out, and that’s why I haven’t said anything yet. What do you guys think?
The good thing is that it’s definitely going to be a nice event! 🙂
